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Monday Morning quarterback
I tripped too hard on my first Halloween in New York
Welcome to Monday Morning Quarterback.
Here’s the best stuff I saw this week (TikToks, tweets, quotes, books, essays, etc.) and a real-life experience.
I took way too many mushrooms last Halloween weekend.
My plan that night was to go on a first date and then hop on the D train to go to a former high school football teammate’s party in the East Village.
I asked the date to meet me at my place, because I needed help with my Halloween costume. I was going as a virgin and needed her to write “I AM A VIRGIN,” on a white t-shirt.
I had seen my college roommate pull off the same costume a few years ago and become a crowd favorite at one of LA’s soulless clubs (*cough* Hyde *cough*).
When the girl arrived at my house, I found out she was just as, if not more, inept at arts and crafts than I was, so I had to finish the costume by myself. I inevitably fucked it up.
After I was done creating my
genius ingenious costume, we walked over to a local watering hole. On the way, she told me had an upcoming opera performance. She wanted to be her very best for the show, so she hadn’t had a sip of alcohol in a few months. I asked her more questions about the performance, because I found it slightly more interesting than her undergrad experience and boring corporate job I never committed to memory.
The date went better than expected, especially considering our favorite conversational catalyst was not present.
We went back to my place, made out, and started to say our goodbyes as we both went off to separate parties.
I’ve conquered the art of goodbye. Well, at least in my head.
You keep it short, avoid a drawn-out sequence, and say it with a smile to keep it light.
She responded to my experienced goodbye with exactly what I was trying to avoid, “Why don’t you come to my party with me?”
Maybe, I’m not as good as I thought.
My next move was to smile, hug her tight, say something flirtatious to get a laugh or a smile, and tell her I was going to see her next week. (You want to guarantee that last part if you’re taking notes).
You realize how there is no, no, right? You never give someone a definite no. Unskilled orators give definitive no’s. It only creates ill will. The best communicators always make you feel important, even when you’re not.
Before we said our “final final” goodbyes (because the first one is never good enough), I opened up the drawer on my nightstand and took out a pack of magic mushrooms.
I was sober at the time.
(I’m getting tired of writing this and you’re getting tired of reading it. Maybe, I’ll continue the story next week OR maybe I don’t want to relieve tripping out on an empty stomach in the middle of East Village on my first Halloween in New York).
Listen, I’m not for sending anyone to war… but… if we had to send one group, it would be fun to watch finance bros man the trenches. Again, I’m not for sending anyone to war, but I’m just saying, it would be funny watching Brad fire off M-16 rounds in between vape hits and sharts.
As Malcolm X says, “You can't have capitalism without racism.”
You may have to watch it a few times to understand what’s happening, but this creator does a phenomenal job of explaining how the US propaganda machine works and why media giants (and yes, that includes social media) must spin the narrative.
There is a huge difference between hearing about an atrocity or brutality and seeing it. It’s a big reason the George Floyd movement was so big. His cold-blooded murder was in plain sight. There was no hiding from what happened. The same thing is happening with Israel’s bombing of Gaza. We longer hear about these things in the newspaper or from the New York Times… we see them first hand.
The picture in the tweet changed the narrative of child labor and raised an outcry against the practice. A practice that is now making a comeback in the South, of course.
This is how I see every rave, to be honest.
I do not admit that the dog in the manger has the final right to the manger, though he may have lain there for a very long time I do not admit that right.
I do not admit for instance that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the black people of Australia.
I do not admit that a wrong has been to those people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race or at any rate a more worldly-wise race, to put it that way, has come in and taken their place.
I do not admit it. I do not think the Red Indians had any right to say, 'American continent belongs to us and we are not going to have any of these European settlers coming in here'. They had not the right, nor had they the power.
The shortest President ever was Jimmy Carter at a healthy 5’9 1/2. We like our Presidents tall, but not giant. It reminds me of this study that says tall people are more likely to be successful.
An absolutely insane name.
Live look at my dating history.
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